Alarmed?

Yesterday was the 1st of April, or April Fools Day, where traditionally one is expected to play pranks on those around you during the morning. I’m still trying to fathom out if I was the subject of a fairly elaborate hoax, or just strange set of circumstances.

Around 10:30am I went to change my ileostomy bag. About half way through the process I suddenly heard a huge commotion outside the bathroom in the corridor, followed by a frantic pounding on the door. In burst a couple of burly security guards and several of the nursing staff; it transpired that the smoke alarm in the bathroom had gone off, and there was concern that I was being engulfed in some sort of conflagration. After determining that everything was OK, the fuss died down, and apart from some good-natured ribbing, life returned to normal.

Until about an hour later, when I next went to change my ileostomy bag, and had exactly the same thing happen again.

So I am now apparently infamous amongst the medical staff for being able to set off the fire alarm system merely by changing my ileostomy bag, and the subject of considerable amounts of good-natured ribbing from my fellow patients whenever I head off in the general direction of a bathroom.

Needless to say, I’m now using a different bathroom…

Hospital humour

A gynaecologist had become fed up with NHS paperwork, the cost of malpractice insurance, the long hours, and was generally feeling burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. So he went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade…”

The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.

“You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”

After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career!”

The ultimate in geocaching?

Strewth!

You say potatoes, I say potatoes, lets call the whole thing off.

I read this, and spent about 5 minutes laughing. Then I thought about how I’d feel. As Hugh Grant would no doubt say, “Oh BUGGER!”

I’m sorry, surely you’re joking?

This weekend we got our first invitation to a Christmas dinner. And no, it wasn’t a joke. They were deadly serious. Menu, deposit, the whole works.

Let me just check my calendar … *boggle*

Speechless …

Ok, so I work with computers. And I’m officially a geek … but I’ve also got three young children, so I find this website utterly bizzare.

Who has the time or energy left over to fill in a website, while coping with a newborn baby? Let me see, baby wakes (screaming, of course!) in the middle of the night. You stagger out of bed, and like a zombie, try to feed and comfort said baby. You eventually get your baby settled down, and back to sleep. Naturally, the next thing you’re going to do is boot your PC, connect to the internet, fill in a website, disconnect and shutdown the PC, before going back to bed. Because by then baby is probably just about ready to wake (you) back up again…