Coping with cancer

I’ve been trying quite hard to keep this blog about my cancer very factual and upbeat, and avoid wallowing in any self-pity. I don’t think that in general it does me (or any of you) any good for me to spend time writing about about the dark times when I get angry, frustrated or depressed. However, I’ve recently had several people say words to the effect of “The way you’re coping with the cancer is just so brave”, and I felt the need to just set the record straight.

I’m not brave; I’m just doing the best I can to get through this.

Make no mistake, I may not write or talk about it, but I do get frustrated, bad-tempered and angry. And sometimes I get very scared and depressed, especially when I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if the cancer will come back. I think that’s probably normal and human. But knowing that those things will happen from time to time leaves me with some options; I could wallow in those negative emotions and let them take over my life, or I can choose to push them aside and get on with something more pleasant instead. I’d prefer to try for the latter approach. I don’t always manage it, but I do try, because getting angry or depressed just wastes time that could be better spent enjoying a sunny day, playing with my kids, or spending time with my friends; ie, living my life.

And that would mean that the cancer was still winning, which is totally unacceptable.

2 thoughts on “Coping with cancer

  1. J. has periodic “wobbles” where the situation crowds in on her, about once every 7-10 days. As long as they don’t occur just as I’m dropping off to sleep, I can cope with them & reassure her.
    I have long had a rule that any worrying or negative thoughts encountered at 4am are null and void. If I still can’t sleep, I get up and have a cup of tea. If the worries are still there at 7am, at least I am better-equipped to deal with them.

    • The problem with this stuff is that the “wobbles” come at the most unexpected times. I can reveal that the steadying reassurances of ones better half are a major help, whatever the time of day (or night!)

      I like your rule about validity of 4am negative thoughts; I also agree with your solution – probably because its the same as mine. You just can’t beat a good cup of tea to help you make it through a crisis!

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