Today was (hopefully) the last day with my ileostomy. Tomorrow (or rather, later today) I will have the surgery to reverse my ileostomy, and return my “plumbing” to normal again. Or at any rate, as normal as will be possible – I understand that it’s never going to be exactly the same again.
And I find myself having very mixed feelings about this.
On one level I will be immensely relieved to lose the bag. I’ll gain a huge amount; being able to more easily bathe, go swimming, generally be more active, and lose the discomfort and frustrations of dealing with the bags and the drugs that I currently take to control my ileostomy.
On the other hand, I am really not looking forward to another operation and the associated general anesthetic. I found the whole process profoundly frightening last time. Then I had no choice; this time I suppose I do. I can see that it’s perfectly feasible to live with an ilesotomy for life.
However, for me, at my point in life, the decision is clear – my quality of life will be infinitely better with the reversal. So I just need to get myself through the operation. It’s a simple case of mind over matter – or rather, mind over my emotions. All I need to do is walk down a corridor, lie down on a table, and let them put a needle in my arm. After that, I wake up with the job done.
No sweat. I can do that.